Fabulous Feminist Burlesque

"It's A Great Day for the Irish", Mercure Cardiff Holland House, Cardiff. 

I expected the burlesque to be sexy. I expected the burlesque to be tasteful. What I didn’t expect was that it would be sparkling with wit. 

I can’t even tell you what a good time I had at my first outing to see Burlesque Cardiff. It was so woman-friendly that even the timing was perfect. The MILF is rather lazy these days, and doesn’t like to stop out late; 4 – 10 pm is ideal for me. I had gone on my own. Whether because it’s women on a night out, or because this is South Wales, people could not have been more friendly and kind and I hope I meet all those people who chatted to me again at the next event. And nobody made a pass at me all night long! which made a nice change.

The group acts were great, cuz there are women of all sizes and shapes, proudly flaunting their assets. The larger BBW ladies arguably fill up the basques and bustières better than your size 0 model, but I agree with what other women said to me, that just seeing so many different women looking beautiful is empowering.  

A long time ago I read that when asked to name a part of their body, men will say: “My knees are nice,” focussing on the positive, while women will say: “My breasts are too small.” I started back then focussing on things about myself that are beautiful. Even so, after the burlesque show, I walk with my head higher.  Seeing so many different women proud of their diverse charms made me feel even prouder to be me. 

Miss Molly Toff Cocktail

The solo acts were also all fantastic. They took aspects of femininity, played them up, played about with them.  They made us laugh and made us think and made us feel like being a woman is hilarious and beautiful – and clever! Gosh, what a thrill to see the witty intelligence of women celebrated as sexy. 

I would love to go through all of the acts and spoil them for you by telling you how funny and brilliant and erotic they were; but you had better come along to one of the shows, cuz me telling you will never be so much fun as seeing the performance live. I shall only mention two. 

Queen on set (wikipedia)

Miss Sunshine Sparkle did a brilliant Freddie Mercury! I’m picking this one out because I just love I Want to Break Free. When I saw a woman, dressed as Freddie Mercury (complete with handlebar moustache), dressed as a woman – with the hoover too! I was already cracking up with laughter. How she sparkled! How she jiggled to and fro, making us all giggle at her glinting grin. 

The other person I must mention is Foo Foo Labelle herself – the doyenne of the burlesque shows. 

In the first half she performed a delicately feminine Irish dance with two beautiful huge green feather fans. She ended very decorously with only three glittery shamrocks in appropriate places. Her dancing is top quality, of course, and that was an elegant number that greatly impressed. Then in the second half, she switched style completely and produced a rib-crackingly funny Little Mermaid singing the Under the Sea song. Now, The Little Mermaid has always been my favourite Disney Princess movie. But you could tell who in the audience was the mom of a little girl, cuz we were the ones completely crying with laughter. The sight of Foo Foo swimming backwards with a ditzy look on her face was something else! I shan’t ever be able to watch that film in the same way again. And a good job too, all the feminists cry indignantly! 

Well, gosh, what more could you ask for in the way of feminist erotica? Sexy witty dancing that celebrates the diverse beauties of many female forms, and that interrogates femininity in a celebratory way. I haven't even mentioned the delicious high tea with champagne yet....! Bring on the next one.   

And luckily, they are. 

Burlesque Cardiff have an upcoming Welsh Burlesque Festival this very Saturday, and I strongly recommend you rush to buy tickets for yourself and all your Best Girl Friends, cuz it’s bound to be absolutely fabulous.