This blog isn't about sex. It's about great sex! I set it up because you only live twice, once in your dreams.

This blog is a portal to the wonderful world of web-based erotic writing. It also serves as a filter: finding stories for you to enjoy without worrying. Use both the reviews and the labels to help you identify stories which will suit your tastes. If the idea of ‘oral’ makes your stomach churn, click on ‘romance’ in the label cloud. Use the rating system: from 0 for nonsexual to XXX for eyebrow raising. (Just your eyebrows will do, thank you, sheesh!)

And use the biggest sexual organ in your body: that’s your brain, dumbo! Which bit of you do you think processes the little messages from your nerve endings in a kiss and releases the endorphins that make you go Whoopdidoo! As you read the reviews and choose stories, as you follow up other stories from those outside of this site: Think before you Click. Come Home quickly if you’re not sure about what you find. Some stories out there are far out on the wild side because humans are inventive beings –not always in nice ways.

Remember too that these are fantasy erotic stories and so the sex is always sizzling. In another life, just being close to someone you have always liked is usually enough. They won’t need a 10“ wonger or GG breasts to turn you on.

Take care of your sweet self and enjoy your dreams.

Tuesday 29 December 2015

The Truth about Hymens and Sex

Thank you to Foo Foo Labelle for drawing my attention to this video. As a long-standing campaigner against the way 'virginity' is touted as if it were the ultimate bridal accessory, I thought I understood the hymen pretty well. Well, now that I've seen this video I do. There's a lot I didn't understand about the hymen which is explained very well and very funnily here by Adam Ruins Everything.




Thursday 24 December 2015

Selection Box - a Burlesque Christmas Party

Come on now, Christmas just isn't Christmas without those selection boxes of chocolates and biscuits. So of course the burlesque presented a delicious selection box of acts for us to party to in the runup to Christmas Day.

I always love taking along a friend who hasn't been to burlesque before. The 'O' of their mouth as they realise how much fun it is. The shaking with laughter, the gasping with amazement, the sparkle of sexiness. Even though they know, because I told them, they always comment on how seeing women of all different shapes and sizes makes us feel good about ourselves.

Burlesque is about watching performers who are freely being themselves, and that makes you feel free to enjoy being yourself. Frankly, it is just a sign of how sexist and sick our society is, that there isn't a burlesque show being put on in a top venue every weekend for women (and men) to go to and enjoy seeing how sexy and smart and super every woman is. (Yes, you too. If you don't believe me, go to a burlesque show and find out.)

Wednesday 23 December 2015

Mobile Home for the Holidays

I mentioned in my review of the winner from Literotica's 2015 Winter Holiday competition that I know what it is to be homeless. The story I review here takes place against a background of a less well understood homelessness, more likely to be experienced by women. Homelessness doesn't always mean having to sleep rough. Many homeless have a job, but the high price of housing and lack of suitable rented accomodation forces them to sleep on friends' floors or try to find other ways to stay safe - and clean. 

Monday 21 December 2015

An Angel's Wish

Angel Waiting
by Todd Krasovetz
That this hard-hitting non-erotic story could win Literotica's Winter Holiday competition is testament to the quality of readers of Literotica stories. This is the antithesis of what you would expect a story on an erotica site to be: a mix of romance and tough realism which squeezes the heart and could make even a hardened critic cry. (I said could. It's just some dust in my eye *sniffle*.) 

Both this and a story I plan to review for tomorrow as a runup to Christmas, have a background theme of homelessness. At this time of year, many of us are 'driving home for Christmas'. I have personally been homeless on more than one occasion. I know that people who are 'homeless' are often not people you would expect to have trouble getting housed. This month, as I gratefully plan for a merry Christmas with my young daughter and our cats in a safe warm happy home, I am donating to a local homeless charity. I hope the small donation helps someone be warm and safe even if only for a couple of days. 

Sunday 20 December 2015

Serena Williams

Serena Williams in Vogue.
Serena Williams in 
the Pirelli calendar.














In the comments on my blogpost on calendars, someone said they think Serena Williams has 'too many overtly masculine features'. This has been a common comment on her muscular physique and was one of the reasons Annie Liebowitz asked her to pose for this year's Pirelli Calendar, which looks to question the very kind of photos of women for which Pirelli used to be famous. 

curl4ever is a keen admirer of muscular women (see my review of his writing), and he wrote these thoughts about that comment.

Friday 18 December 2015

Her Secret Confessions Parts 1 and 2

Kawasaki Ninja featured 
on CrotchRocket.com.
Here we have two hot little quickies, the first of which features a hot red motorbike, a hot man and a young woman who is a little shy about admitting how much she is into the hotness of hot things. The second gives us more action from the hot hot pair.

The anxieties of the central character are well portrayed in these purportedly biographical pieces. As young women, we are heavily schooled into concern about our sexuality. On the one hand, we are given the impression that the world is full of naughty men waiting to pounce on us out of the undergrowth and slaver all over us. Plus, we are made to feel it's of the foremost importance to be closer to 'virgin' on the social spectrum than 'whore'; I mean actually more important than scoring a Nobel Prize with our school science project.

The predicament of a young woman who feels turned on by a hot man is a well drawn backdrop in these stories.

Wednesday 16 December 2015

Calendar Girls ... and Boys

This is actually quite a rare Pirelli calendar pic (it's by Helmut Newton) - as it features a tyre. As a rule, the famous classic girl-y calendars showed beautiful women in pictures that had absolutely nothing to do with cars. 

Well, as Christmas approaches and you are desperate to get something for Auntie Rhoda, you may be turning to the calendar shops for an inoffensive gift. Cats? Landscape photos? Cartoons of cats? Landscape shots with cats in them? 

Probably not a nude girl-y calendar, although the old-fashioned staple of every garage has undergone something of a revolution. 

Monday 14 December 2015

Summertime Sex Ed

This isn't going to be a lecture from me about how poor sex education is in schools. It's a review of a story that has a sex education session the likes of which I'm sure we all wished we had had. 


Thursday 10 December 2015

FAWC6

OK, I am going to break my rule now! (I know, exciting, isn't it! I occasionally do break the rules; after all, it's not as bad as breaking a finger nail.) Although there are likely to be some stories here which are not 'safe sex', I am going to publish the link to the full list of Friendly Anonymous Writing Challenge stories, so you can access what is bound to be a cohort of extremely strong stories. Some of the best writers have always participated in the FAWCs, and this will be a particularly memorable list as we are taking part to commemorate our friend slyc_willie, who set up the FAWCs.

NB I haven't been able to assign a rating to these stories as I haven't read them yet myself. Past competition entries have gone right across the range from 0 to XXX. Check them out, vote and see if you can guess who wrote which one. (I provide the full list of participating authors at the end of my blogpost.)

Monday 7 December 2015

My Night with an Internet Stranger

This story is well written in a feisty way, and probably is true - as it claims to be. I like it for being a good How To about casual sex. Plus there is plenty of sex described in luscious detail.

Monday 23 November 2015

1st International Welsh Cabaret Festival

Beautiful hats and fascinators
by Looby Creations
BIG thumbs up to the Sherman theatre for staging such a key event in a central venue. 

People worry that burlesque is just an excuse for sleazy strip-tease. In fact it is a witty caricature, simultaneously sending up our fears about sex and celebrating real women's bodies and our sexuality. With its gender bending politics and intellectual rather than physical strip-tease, cabaret and burlesque is an ideal filler for a theatre like the Sherman to put in between earnest new plays and the kids' Christmas shows, providing something that's adult and emotionally mature. 

Burlesque is the mirror opposite of strip-tease. In strip-tease, women are the objects of Desire; in burlesque we are the subjects of our own desire to enjoy showing our bodies and our selves. The 1st International Welsh Cabaret Festival showcased this particularly well with the inclusion of several male acts - who were not stripping for women in a reverse strip-tease. They were often engaging with more feminine sides of themselves, e.g. through balletic movements - again providing a subjective celebratory vision of feminine sides to identity. 

Burlesque is a liberatory subversive artform, of the kind the critic Bakhtin called carnivalesque

OK, enough of that, now for what I thought of the actual festival:

Tuesday 17 November 2015

Consent

This post isn't exactly a review, rather it's to circulate a cool comic strip about 'consent'. The comic is aimed at guys, it explains that a woman's body is her own, and men have zero rights in it. It's helpful for women too. 

I run this blog partly to provide some fun that encourages safe sex, and shows young lads that it's possible to get a lot more in life if you ask for it politely than if you rudely try to blag women into giving you pictures of their boobs for your phone. (See my review of Peter Morgan's work.) I also run it to encourage young women to have confidence. If we as women confidently say No more often, men may realise that No does mean No and f*ck off when we don't want them bothering us. Yes, men must do more to respect women's consensual rights. As women we can take courage and be more assertive. 


From Everyday Feminism: link to rest of comic below.

Sunday 8 November 2015

Beat-Off Buddies

"Fishnet Stockings" polish 
as reviewed on HerCampus.
One of the things I like about this story by Carnevil9, is how it immediately leaps into the sex. We are straight in the action, then there is an asterism (new word I learnt this week! meaning row of asterisks) and then we get good back story.

Tuesday 3 November 2015

An Anal Fantasy for You

It's not hard to guess what Rimminglover is into, LOL. 

In this tender appeal, he spells out his passion for arse. If you were wondering how to go about anal sex, here is a poetic way to find out. Rimminglover writes about what he would like to do to his lover and lingers in detail on how he would go about fingering and fucking her.

Sunday 25 October 2015

Mouse's Maiden Voyage

Craig Revel Horwood - notorious for
harsh one-liner critique
In this blogpost, curl4ever and I are going to collaborate on tearing apart ... reviewing (wink) a story by Gorza. In his innocence, curl wrote: I'm very happy to contribute to Naoko's blog again.  In order to make it happen, she offered to "collaborate" which I take to mean that I get to write the easy parts and she gets to write the rest. - curl.


Darcy Bussell - brilliant insights
delivered with kindness.
Actually what "collaborate" means is that we are going to be like the judges on the British Strictly Come Dancing show: Darcy Bussell and Craig Revel Horwood. Craig is the one whom the audience start booing as soon as he opens his mouth. Darcy picks up the pieces of the weeping dancers and makes them feel better after Craig has shot them down with a bullet point list of all their faults. curl, naturally, is going to be Darcy while I will play the part of the Bitch of Strictness <snerk>.

curl: I am very excited to introduce you to an exceptional new author on Literotica, Gorza.  I've loved both of his first two stories. Today I want to direct you to Mouse's Maiden Voyage.

Naoko: Yes, yes darling, but his footwork, and that habit of dropping the shoulders. You must keep the topline ... oh sorry, wrong script.

Thursday 22 October 2015

Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo

Les Ballets Trockadero are in no need of a boost from me, as they have been playing to ecstatic sellout audiences for decades. However, I enjoyed the show they put on the other evening so-o-o much, I just had to write about them. Plus, I thought I'd use the opportunity to talk about parody. 



International Welsh Cabaret Festival

Image from Eventbrite

Roll up, roll up! the burlesque is back! Here's information and tickets for the festival (13th/14th Nov).

Previously I have reviewed the burlesque here, here and here. I totally hand on heart recommend it as a hilarious heart-warming night out.

Running over three days, at the Festival, you can:
  • Go to the shops - there will be stalls with all sorts. (Seriously - all sorts!)
  • See the New Talent awards (Fri night).
  • Attend a day of vintage make-up, dance and circus skills workshops (Sat).
  • See the Gala Show!!! (Sat evening).

I'm sure going to be there! 

Wednesday 14 October 2015

Safe Sex - it doesn't have to be like this

Honest, safe sex can be a lot of fun. 

People immediately think condoms when the words 'safe sex' pop up. Well, you can have a lot of fun with condoms. 

There are also A LOT of activities you can engage in for which you don't need a condom. They are safe and enormous (enormous! - wink) fun. Expand your sexual repertoire, have lots of fun and play safe, LOL. 



Here's a quickie about how to have fun with a condom.


Phew! *panting* that was really ... safe (wink) LOL.

Friday 9 October 2015

Using a wheelchair

OK! I ended up writing a ve-ery long review here so if you are just hoping to find a hot story go straight to electricblue66's magnificent Rope and Veil. Another excellent story I'm going to discuss is Tribad's Alice's Curiosity but I can't give a link to it as there is naughty unsafe sex in it! :eeek!: (It's on Literotica. Just google, dahlink.) Plus, I will talk about my own story which has a wheelchair user as a central character: The de Winter's Tale

Yayyy! Go and read, vote - and give feedback. I know I need to edit my own story, so I am really keen for feedback. 

NB I have previously reviewed electricblue66's art here. The pictures he mentions in his story are on his Tumblr blog. Sorry about the quick lecture I put in at the start of this review - back to flirting soon, I promise. For those who want to think about writing in a more responsible manner ... 


Thursday 8 October 2015

National Poetry Day

A little bird (OK, a hunky big bloke - yum) has reminded me that it's National Poetry Day. Here is a celebratory recording by Kingswoman: Tennyson's Now sleeps the crimson petal. It's more romantic than erotic, in fact Romantic - high Romantic writing of the Victorian era. Like a lot of Tennyson's poetry though, there is heavily sexual symbolism for the delicate ladies to blush over.

The poem comes from a 'verse medley' by Alfred, Lord Tennyson called The Princess. This is an odd story, it starts with a group of young people who are inspired to tell each other a verse drama about a heroic Prince. Young Lilia, the daughter of the house, challenges the young men to it: 
I wish I were
Some mighty poetess, I would shame you then, 
That love to keep us children! 

They compose a poem about a great Princess who separates herself from the world in order to pursue learning. But it only leads to 'tears idle tears', gurllllzzzzz (wink - that famous poem is also part of The Princess medley). A Prince falls in love with her, and when she rejects his suit, a terrible battle ensues, her brothers and various assorted hunky Princes are all dreadfully wounded, then finally she agrees to be a good wife and mother instead. 

LOL, it's all very Victorian. Nothing like that could happen today OF COURSE! (wink). 

I am always struck by the way Lilia and Ida (the Princess) are depicted as attractive and charming because of their wit and intelligence, how Tennyson shows their frustration at not being allowed to develop their thoughts ("you ... that love to keep us children"), but in the end this is not the Victorian way - love means never having to think any more, apparently. 

Thursday 24 September 2015

Odd-shaped balls

The Rugby World Cup is here! I think we should look for some action with men with serious muscle. 

TBH, LOL, when the rugby is actually on the tv, I have got no time for idle flirting. There are many passions of the human heart, and rugby is the ruling one of mine. Well ... there's whisky too, but you can so easily combine whisky with watching. Watching rugby! Sheesh. Anyway, while I am watching matches, the closest you will come to me making a pass is if I take you out to the park afterwards and demonstrate my spin pass while shouting at you to hold the line. 

However, there is no denying that a sport requiring such a high level of fitness produces beefcake that is well worth ogling. Plus, there is a lot of mileage to be got out of rugby terminology - which is curiously well suited to innuendo. 

Monday 14 September 2015

Summer Lovin': Sweet Summer Nights

From Modern Paleo Warfare blog
run by two lads who like cooking 
but are not online any more :(

 
Gah, life overtook me and the Summer Lovin' competition was over before I could read many of the entries. This is a review I was writing and didn't quite manage to post in time. You can still show your appreciation by reading, voting and leaving comments, though. 

Another highly reliable writer in the Literotica story competitions is SamScribble. I greedily look out for his stories, as they usually have a bonne bouche in them by way of a yummy recipe which his lucky characters get to eat. Here he has really come up to scratch with a delicious scallop dish. There is a bed - of course <wink> - of white bean puree, some spicy action <snerk>, fishiness and a couple of round juicy scallops. 

Sunday 30 August 2015

Summer Lovin': Hot Hilary


It's up (wink nudge), it's hot (<snerk>), it's the Literotica Summer Lovin' Contest! 

The summer has been blighted back in Blighty by near constant rain. I spoke to someone in Brighton the other day who said the animals were lining up two by two on the seafront. So lie back, relax and have a read about what it ought to be like.

Wednesday 22 July 2015

Anna's Milk Ch. 03

I previously reviewed the first two chapters of Anna's Milk and have finally got round to the third chapter in this series. This one is even better than the two previous chapters and that's saying something. 

Having said that, there are some really irritating typographical errors. FFS! Get a copy editor already. I can't bear that reading something so good should be spoilt by such an easily fixed problem. 

This seems like a good place to make a small remark about editing. There are two kinds: 
  • copy editing - cleaning up minor typos and grammatical errors. (Or mistakes like writing 'Anna' when you meant 'Moira'.) 
  • beta reading - someone goes through your story for you and advises you that huge chunks have to be edited out (*sobs*) because they are just a distraction from the main story arc, or that huge chunks have to be rewritten with more descriptive detail, or that the main character is a sadistic basturd not a Dom and you should consider counselling not becoming an author. 
Both kinds are good. People love to tell other people how to do stuff, so don't hesitate to ask for someone to give your story the once-over - either just to copy edit, or to give it a real overhaul. That's if you are a serious author, of course. If you are just in denial about needing counselling, carry on.

Now, back to Anna's Milk. 

Earth, wind and fire - this story has got it all, and a great horn section (wink). 

Wednesday 15 July 2015

How To Do It

Pic by David Jablow - check his website to 
buy the doodler and see his other pics
(Write erotica that is! If you want details about how to do ... other things, check all the many informative stories reviewed on here.) 
 
Another great blogpost here by curl4ever. (Not all of whose own stories have safe sex! but I'm sure he will write some more hot ones for us soon - pretty please?) 

Naoko has been encouraging you to explore your writing talents.  I thought I would provide some resources I have found helpful, culminating with a review of one of my favorite stories, Six Characters in Search of Erotica by glynndah.

Thursday 9 July 2015

Nude Day Erotic Story Contest

The Nude Day contest is currently running on Literotica, and I am panting away here. Um ... I just mean I'm rushing to get in a review of some of the stories in time to encourage you to go and vote on them. Gah, it can get quite hot reviewing all these stories but someone has to do this hard job (wink). 

Everyone posts on Literotica for free, so give them something back in the way of an honest vote - and comments. Authors on Literotica highly value thoughtful comments so do take the time to let them know what you think about their competition entries.

As a rule, better stories go into the contests because the authors who enter are ones who regularly go on Literotica and are serious about their writing. It's well worth having a look, checking titles and links and seeing if there are stories on there you think you will enjoy. (Pssst, link to the complete list here!)

Tuesday 7 July 2015

100th post! Apologia pro Opus Meum

From SmashCutCulture,
a cultural studies blog
In this 100th post, I am going to indulge myself and explain why I write reviews of erotica - primarily stories. This will be in the tradition of Sir Philip Sidney's An Apology for Poetry. Apology in this sense doesn't mean saying sorry for being so in-your-face and flirty when I write (<snerk>). It means an explanation, a rhetorical discussion which outlines the rationale for what we do.

Friday 3 July 2015

Muse-ings

This is my 99th post! I have been running this blog since July 2012: three years. I first kicked off with a review of my own story As Pleases My General, followed by a boost for my pal Ozzie's fabulous Lusting While Dusting.

I'm going to celebrate with poetry! 

When I started this blog I was riddled with insecurity and lack of confidence. I used to come online, laughing and flirting and pretending to be totally The Thing. The truth was, if I had had a poem dedicated to me back then, I would have run in terror. I wouldn't have understood that I was good enough for such warm appreciation.

It was a long journey for me to gain confidence, to get a better idea of how strong a person I am. If you are someone who thinks you aren't clever or pretty or funny enough, or otherwise an attractive person, this blogpost is for you. I thought that too when I started writing, and now I have got poetry dedicated to me online. If you had told me that would happen when I started with blog review #1, I would have jumped for joy. 


Monday 29 June 2015

How to be Beautiful in the Fashion Industry

I've heard it said that to be a good fashion model, you actually don't need a pretty face. The best face for fashion modelling is one that is neutral, so they can paint the face they want on top of it. 

This post follows on from the previous post reviewing electricblue66's art. His art celebrates the diverse beauties of bodies while photoshop is used here to airbrush them out. 



Friday 26 June 2015

Beginning Last Wednesday

I actually meant to read electricblue66's story to review - and I am going to do that as well. By accident I stumbled on his Tumblr blog, where a scattering of occasional words lie around some lovely charcoal and pastel and ink sketches. 

Tuesday 23 June 2015

Thanks Mom!

Pic from Facebook
It's so cool of this mom to be this caring of her son. Although I hope Ashley wasn't with him when he found the note and read it.

 And ... I hope he had some Trojans of his own! cuz his mom put a pin right through this one. Maybe she really really wants grandchildren! 

Make sure you're safe. Use a condom that's within the Use By date, hasn't been kept in a hot back pocket or knocking about (wink) in the bottom of a handbag for a few months, is still in the sealed packet so no chance of the rubber being corroded ... and which has not had a pin put through it, LOL. 

Here are some fun selection packs of condoms, easily available on Amazon. You can just buy one of these for your kids and leave them discretely in the bedroom (wink).  
The Après Ski Mix, what every sporting 
man should be sporting this winter.




Sunday 21 June 2015

Hot and Hairy

Artist Madison Mcclain
These two stories about body hair which celebrate women's natural beauty have been written at the same time as the recent phenomenon 'bedazzling'.

Wednesday 17 June 2015

Put a Sock On It

Sock and pussy.
Thank you, Stickygirl, for drawing my attention to this great video teaching you how to put a sock on (wink). 

"Mississippi's new sex education law prevents teachers from showing teens how to use condoms. However, they CAN show kids how to protect their feet through correct and consistent sock use," says Sanford Johnson. He says he doesn't mind whether you wear athletic shoes or dress shoes (wink) as long as your foot is protected. 

Wednesday 10 June 2015

Hot Summer Reads

If you want to guarantee that you will have a sizzling summer regardless of the weather, pick up a copy of Hot Summer Reads. Some of the best names on Literotica have clubbed together here to offer you stories ranging from the gently mature (Steve Williams) to the wildly playful (TT Tales). Hetero, gay, bi and lesbian stories; BDSM, mature, first love, science fiction, crime drama, it's all here laid out for the teasing ... I mean reading! 

@ $2.99 this is a total bargain, and even more, will offer you a gateway into the writing worlds of these ten authors. You couldn't ask for a better introduction to the best of the proliferation of prose available at Literotica. If you want to try out a sexy story but are anxious that you may bite off more than you can chew (unlike the women in The Hole In The Basement Wall LOL!), check out these tales and follow up the writers you like. 

Not all of these stories are safe sex. By rights I can only review two, but I am going to sneak in a third one. Yes! for only the third time on here I am going to break my safe sex rule because one of these stories is that good. Oh, and I will give an honourable mention to a fourth because it's mostly safe sex.

Friday 5 June 2015

Barbie Parody

There are a whole set of videos to watch here. If you loved Barbie when you were a kid, you will be blown away by these hilarious stop motion skits. 

Normally I am adamant about the safe sex rule on here. Even long-term married monogamous church-goers have to be using a condom at key moments: no spills in your thrills is The Rule. These videos in which Barbie is an alcoholic single mother of four dolls whom she pretends are her little sisters, are chocka full of unsafe sex! but I figure that they offer such a dire lesson about bad behaviour in general that they will make you reach for that little bit of reliable rubber. 

Tuesday 2 June 2015

I used to hate exercise

Partner-friendly abs exercises here.
(Another review from Curl4ever. Dang, that boy just keeps coming back for more. Go, Curl, go!)

Second on my list of erotica that I just have to tell the world about is a POEM.  I am not ordinarily a poetry kind of person, but for ten years, this was the ONE AND ONLY poem on my favorites list.  

Friday 15 May 2015

Gladiator

A marble relief of two female 
gladiators, at the British Museum
(This review is by Curl4ever - whose stories are not always safe sex, don't all rush to them at once! LOL. Thank you for this, Curl4ever!.)

When Naoko invited me to contribute a review, I knew my first choice immediately.  It is an extremely well-written, two-chapter historical piece which develops female-female relationships with great skill and sensitivity.  In line with my personal reading preferences, the protagonist is a strong, smart, and capable female warrior.  I think the official title of "Gladiator" might suggest a male-oriented story, but the historical note makes it clear that female gladiators were a part of Roman history. 

Monday 11 May 2015

Curlever on Brawna

Curl4ever is going to contribute some reviews for the blog, to my great excitement. He said I shouldn't write a glowing intro for him, as I've done for other illuminati of the erotica world who have kindly contributed posts on here. So I shall write an entirely truthful review. I can't write about his Literotica stories, although they are Hot to Trot. (I will link to them when he writes a review with a warning note.) Instead I'll write about a couple of his contributions on Brawna. 

I am grateful to him even just for introducing me to Brawna, which is a site I didn't know about. Brawna is full of fun stories about strong women. I mean strong as in can bench-press significant weights, who have legs bulging with muscle and who may even spend their weekends role-playing as orc maidens, wrestling adoring men to the ground as well as other orc maidens. Any little lady out there who is constantly putting herself on diets because she thinks all men prefer the slender willowy look should rush over and read a few of the paeans on Brawna to muscular women. 

(I will just take this opportunity to remind you that research shows, if you go on a diet, you will put back on more than you lost shortly afterwards as your body hurries to make up for what it realises is going to be a starve/feast way of living. Exercise is a great deal better at getting the extra poundage off - I find cycling especially good although I try not to lose too much weight in case I also lose my dimple. The one in my cheek. My facial cheek! Anyway, just click on BBW if you don't yet realise a lot of men adore big women.) 

Friday 8 May 2015

Fuck Me Ray Bradbury


Geek girls go! This is one for geek girls and all the geek-y boys who love geek girls. 

Thursday 7 May 2015

Catullus - Ode to Lesbia

I recently thought about reviewing some classic erotic literature. Unlikely as it seems, there is some pretty spicy writing in texts that get put on college reading lists.

A Classical Classic seems like an excellent starting place. Here is Kingswoman reading the Latin poet Catullus's poem to his mistress, Lesbia. As this is proper classic published smut, Kingswoman has been able to upload it onto Soundcloud, where she has a collection of poetry readings rather different to the material she performs on Literotica.

Wednesday 6 May 2015

Hysterical Literature

This isn't strictly audio erotica, it's video art. However I shall slip it into the collection, as it consists of women reading aloud.

Not women reading erotic literature - necessarily. Each woman reads her own choice of book, while sitting at a table. Meanwhile, a Hitachi vibrator slowly disrupts her reading with pleasure until she comes to orgasm. 

OK, before I get into the art-y fart-y bit, let me assure you, it's erotically exciting to watch the women. The tension mounts as they start to stutter and lose control, and you can't help laughing with them as they finally explode into inarticulate joyous orgasm.

Monday 4 May 2015

All That Jazz - First Time

From DHGate
I totally disagree with one grumpy commentator on this story, who complained that the music in the background is "annoying and distracting". I am with two musicians who said the addition of the music is "a touch of genius". The music is an integral part of the story, and of the action; a pleasure to hear in itself.

Here's my second in this set of audio reviews, this time I'm looking at another perfect (ho ho) story by that consumate professional: TheRavenFox. Perfect - review here, was written by a participant on Gone Wild Audio. This story was written by TheRavenFox herself and is up on Literotica.

From TheLingerieAddict
This is a teacher/student story; delicately handled. TheRavenFox is, as I've said, a consumate professional. While playing with this popular erotic scenario, she establishes firm ethical grounds: all participants are over 18, and the student - of love as well as music - is about to leave Miss London's tender tutorial care to go to college. Consent is carefully made clear. Devyn admits almost as soon as she appears in the story that she is in love with Miss London, Miss London has inner dialogue worrying about how inappropriate it would be to express her feelings for her (soon-to-be former) pupil. Miss London makes the first move - as befits the more experienced woman. However Devyn repeatedly asks for more, explicitly begging for Miss London to make love to her.

Tuesday 28 April 2015

Hurry Home!

In this first of my latest set of audio reviews I'm checking out a story posted on Gone Wild Audio. I feel a kind of midwifely pride in it, as when a writer came on the Authors Hangout on Literotica asking how to find someone to record his story, I told him about Gone Wild. He successfully posted his story there, and got three readings of it, which is pretty cool.

This is a hardcore FemDom story. Frankly if I wanted to find a textbook example of how far you can go and still be having safe sex, I couldn't have commissioned a better one!

Sunday 26 April 2015

Audio Smut

From Vectorstock
It happens that a lot of the material I'm looking at right now is audio, so I thought I would just go with that and focus on audio smut for the next few blogposts. 

There's a proliferation of smutty short stories online. Maybe Roland Barthes was wrong when he proclaimed 'the death of the author'. However, the playful interaction between listener and writer on audio stories reveals what Barthes meant by this provocative statement.

Barthes intended to show us how the author does not have ultimate control of the text. Each reader brings their own understanding to a story, and Barthes argued that the reader was more the 'author' than the person writing a story. Audio stories seem to offer a step on for that interactive poststructuralist way of creating fiction. 


Friday 24 April 2015

The Wasp of St. Judith's

Float like a butterfly, sting like a wasp - this story is a master class in making mood. Several acclaimed Literotica authors have left comments on Bramblethorn's story to say how highly they thought of it, and Lien_Geller has also written a review praising it in his thread on Literotica's Story Feedback board. 

Tuesday 14 April 2015

Disney Princesses


From Fanpop

If you thought Miss Congeniality was an unlikely candidate for this blog, your jaw must be hitting the floor now, LOL.

In this unlikely blogpost I am going to argue that the Disney Princess has come a long way from her first incarnation: Snow White ("If you let me stay, I'll keep house for you. I'll wash and sew and sweep and cook.") Disney Princesses are one of the earliest means by which children come to an understanding of romance and adult relationships. It might be helpful to think back and consider if your attitudes to sex and love today were influenced by those entrancing films.

Plus, the films are beautiful. One of the bonuses of having a piglet is that I get to buy all the classic Disney films on BluRay. (Although I want to add that piglet maintenance is unfortunately not all about slobbing on the sofa with some jelly and icecream and Beauty and the Beast, so you should wear a condom until you are really sure you want to spend your life kneedeep in shitty nappies).

Friday 10 April 2015

Perfect


From thegeekiary.com

This story voiced by TheRavenFox is at the top of the Hall of Fame audio stories on Literotica and I can see just why. TheRavenFox is a consummate professional and her audio tracks are in a class above much of what's available on what is an amateur site. We are jolly lucky that she likes recording so much she is willing to put up free tracks on Literotica and also Reddit's Gone Wild Audio. It's not just the title of this story that is 'perfect'! 

This particular story was written by Steady and posted on Gone Wild. Originally it was an M4F story but TheRavenFox naughtily asked if she could voice it, and when Steady offered to re-write it as F4M, she said she wanted an F4F. I have personally long recognised the erotic potential of Loki, the prospect of a female Loki seemed totally delicious! and so it proved to be .... 

Sunday 5 April 2015

White Scut - review

Rabbit Netsuke from auction
OMG!!! and in other words of commentators on this story: "Seriously Weird", "LMFAO ... I can't see past the tears from crying with laughter to type."

I adore this little gem of a story, this bizarre erotic horror tale by that Master of the Art: Oggbashan. It makes me want to go 'tee hee hee!' with my hand over my mouth (which is how Japanese people laugh, as it's uncouth to show your open mouth in Japan). This tiny twisted intense tale truly is horrible and erotic, it's like a netsuke. It's Japanese in its sexy weirdness, the exquisite writing in perfect contrast to the grotesque story, like the delicate lines in Shunga (Japanese erotic art).

As spring sprungs all around, remind yourself why April is called 'the cruellest month' by reading White Scut. Not for the faint-hearted!