This blog isn't about sex. It's about great sex! I set it up because you only live twice, once in your dreams.

This blog is a portal to the wonderful world of web-based erotic writing. It also serves as a filter: finding stories for you to enjoy without worrying. Use both the reviews and the labels to help you identify stories which will suit your tastes. If the idea of ‘oral’ makes your stomach churn, click on ‘romance’ in the label cloud. Use the rating system: from 0 for nonsexual to XXX for eyebrow raising. (Just your eyebrows will do, thank you, sheesh!)

And use the biggest sexual organ in your body: that’s your brain, dumbo! Which bit of you do you think processes the little messages from your nerve endings in a kiss and releases the endorphins that make you go Whoopdidoo! As you read the reviews and choose stories, as you follow up other stories from those outside of this site: Think before you Click. Come Home quickly if you’re not sure about what you find. Some stories out there are far out on the wild side because humans are inventive beings –not always in nice ways.

Remember too that these are fantasy erotic stories and so the sex is always sizzling. In another life, just being close to someone you have always liked is usually enough. They won’t need a 10“ wonger or GG breasts to turn you on.

Take care of your sweet self and enjoy your dreams.

Wednesday, 16 December 2015

Calendar Girls ... and Boys

This is actually quite a rare Pirelli calendar pic (it's by Helmut Newton) - as it features a tyre. As a rule, the famous classic girl-y calendars showed beautiful women in pictures that had absolutely nothing to do with cars. 

Well, as Christmas approaches and you are desperate to get something for Auntie Rhoda, you may be turning to the calendar shops for an inoffensive gift. Cats? Landscape photos? Cartoons of cats? Landscape shots with cats in them? 

Probably not a nude girl-y calendar, although the old-fashioned staple of every garage has undergone something of a revolution. 

As 1999 became 2000, nude calendars suddenly turned a new page. Some members of a Women's Institute branch in Yorkshire decided to raise funds for a sofa for their local hospital, in memory of the husband of one of them. For American chums, you should understand that the WI has long been regarded as the most Stepford of stuffy wives' clubs in Britain. When the women posed nude for calendar pictures, it was such a brilliant joke (and actually the pictures are tasteful and rather lovely), that the whole thing took off, became an enormous runaway success and their story was made into a heart-warming award-winning film called Calendar Girls (DVD available from Hive for £4.15). To date, the calendar girls have raised about £3M for the leukaemia and lymphona research organisation Bloodwise.

In 2001, the French (of course!) rugby team shocked and delighted hetero female and gay male fans of the oval ball by releasing a pinup calendar featuring muscular stars of the √©quipe nationale. The 2016 edition is available from Amazon if Auntie Rhoda is uh ... up for it. 

This year, the Oxford women's rugby team have released a nude calendar, featuring gritty black and white photos in the mud. As a former player at the Other Place, I naturally wish I could say I would expect nothing less of the slags in dark blue (wink), but actually you can see that they are spoofing the Dieux du Stade and building on the Calendar Girl legacy rather than cashing in on Pirelli traditions. (BTW, the light blues thrashed the dark blues 52-0 this year *snigger*. Wha-at?!! I think it's a highly relevant fact in the context of this review.)

Women's rugby receives far less funding than the glamourous professional men's sport. However the Oxford University women have removed their strip for charity, not for themselves, and to raise awareness of eating disorders. Let's hope even just looking at the pictures of older women and muscular sportswomen helps us all to realise how diverse and attractive our bodies are.

Meanwhile, over at Pirelli, Annie Liebowitz has been commissioned to photograph women who have achieved something more than posing without very many clothes on. This picture is of Amy Schumer the feminist stand-up comedian. Other women depicted (mostly with their clothes on) include Serena Williams, Yoko Ono and Patti Smith.

Auntie Rhoda might actually like it.


HP said...

The original 'classic' Pirelli calendar was a joy to behold; even more so owing to it's rarity. For myself, the thought of a a Williams sister wearing little is not something that I'd welcome; some of the Victoria's Secret girls, however . . .
As to a load of French
Rugby players - forget it, even if they may be regarded as "Art".

Modern military aircraft, are different. . .

Naoko Smith said...

The Serena Williams picture in Pirelli's calendar is actually stunning. She has had a lot of silly commentary about her body being 'too muscular' and 'not feminine', as if those were legitimate complaints to make about a world class tennis player rather than a fashion model. I think Liebowitz is looking to produce something which is a reply to that.
I will look out for a good aircraft calendar for you, my dear! rather than the one of the Oxford Women's team ;).

Anonymous said...

I realize I'm in the sad minority when I say I'd rather see a man in a well-cut suit than displaying his bare arse. I'm having a hard time comprehending this mania for bare arses, but that's just me.
Serena Williams? I'm sorry, but she does not look female to me. Too many overtly masculine features.

Naoko Smith said...

I love a man in a suit! especially with a white shirt, for some reason :P
What's interesting is how the ubiquity of nude women on calendars is finished with. Suddenly nude men are selling calendars, and clothed women are hot.
In the 1970s or 1980s a woman photographer displayed a picture of a man, apparently naked, sitting behind a chess board with a write-up similar to the infamous and popular Page 3 girl write-ups from The Sun newspaper. People were outraged and had to be prevented from tearing the picture down. I remember the picture vividly, it was quite clunky and clearly a joke - nothing like as pornographic as the pictures of the male rugby players but people found it shocking that a man could be portrayed as a sex object while blithely accepting women being shown nude in a newspaper read by morning commuters every day.

Aussiescribbler said...

Normally, I have no interest in sport, but nude sports women? I'd buy that calendar.

The problem with conventional nude calendars is that, if they feature models whose business it is to pose nude, then it is just business as usual. Much more exciting to see nudity where it is least expected, e.g. the rugby field. (Nude volleyball, of course, is a cliche.)

My local amateur theatre group are doing Calendar Girls next year. Maybe I'll go. I did like the movie.

Naoko Smith said...

What did you think of the Liebowitz picture of Serena Williams, Aussie? Did you also find it too overtly masculine?

Anonymous said...

My own thoughts about this discussion of Serena Williams were too detailed for a comment box, so Naoko turned them into a separate blogpost (dated 20 December 2015).
- curl