This blog isn't about sex. It's about great sex! I set it up because you only live twice, once in your dreams.

This blog is a portal to the wonderful world of web-based erotic writing. It also serves as a filter: finding stories for you to enjoy without worrying. Use both the reviews and the labels to help you identify stories which will suit your tastes. If the idea of ‘oral’ makes your stomach churn, click on ‘romance’ in the label cloud. Use the rating system: from 0 for nonsexual to XXX for eyebrow raising. (Just your eyebrows will do, thank you, sheesh!)

And use the biggest sexual organ in your body: that’s your brain, dumbo! Which bit of you do you think processes the little messages from your nerve endings in a kiss and releases the endorphins that make you go Whoopdidoo! As you read the reviews and choose stories, as you follow up other stories from those outside of this site: Think before you Click. Come Home quickly if you’re not sure about what you find. Some stories out there are far out on the wild side because humans are inventive beings –not always in nice ways.

Remember too that these are fantasy erotic stories and so the sex is always sizzling. In another life, just being close to someone you have always liked is usually enough. They won’t need a 10“ wonger or GG breasts to turn you on.

Take care of your sweet self and enjoy your dreams.

Saturday, 23 August 2014

Mary Tagert

Homeless woman from Wikipedia Commons
Here we have a hot First Time story, with a credible back story sketched in to explain how a young woman ends up enjoying her first experience with an older man.

Mary Tagert is a likeable lass on the run. When she turns eighteen she decides to reward one of the few men in her life who has shown her kindness in the old-fashioned way. (I think actually she just realises he is hot to trot under his rags and decides to go for him!) Having lived with John for a couple of years, she knows she must lead the way to the bed and she does it in style. 

Zeb_Carter already has one series under his belt with a string of green Es (Editor's pick) and red Hs. This story could do with a little work, however no worries on the bedroom scene: the sex is hot, sweet and sensible.

It's unusual for women to be homeless on the streets, because of the fears of sexual violence as well as physical violence and the dangers of the cold, dirt and rain. Women will stay on friends' floors and put up with considerable suffering in the home to stay safe from 'a fate worse than death'. (I have been homeless myself; I know how terrifying it is to fear life on the street.) Zeb sketches rather than depicts the miserable difficulties of living rough. He could perhaps have said something about the smells; there is a realism to the stink of someone who has not washed in a long while which brings across the unhappiness of homelessness in a visceral way. (Zeb hints at this when Mary works hard to secure herself and her lover showers which they both luxuriate in before their pleasuring.) 

There is convincing detail of living rough, mostly in the form of explanation, e.g. a description of how Mary finds trashy novels in the trash, learning from them about the oral sex she wants to experience. Mary and John both have good reason for being out on the streets.The narrative flows well and the sex is hot and sensual

The explanation in places becomes what I call 'business': passages where the writer is thinking out how things would work in a practical way. These are just mechanical devices, they could be more smoothly integrated. For example, the passage where John's body is described and it's explained that he does exercise. If his exercises could be included earlier in the story as part of his life, his fit body would be plausible without our having to have it explained to us. I think it would add to the story too if instead of saying she wants to give herself to John as reward for his kindness, Mary admits she has noticed how fit he is and lusts after him!

Like other readers, I hope Mary and John's companionship leads them to build a safe home together - with Rudy and Sunny the dogs, of course! perhaps with the help of a good social worker, LOL. I foresee another hot bedroom scene if they get to christen a new home - hint hint.

3 comments:

Xavier Carter said...

Thank you very much for you kind words and excellent criticism. I will take it under concideration and actually agree with your assessment. A re-write may be in the works. I am also working on a second(final) chapter. There are some unresolved details which I left there for this purpose.

Thanks again.

Zeb

Xavier Carter said...

Oh, I love the picture you used.

Naoko Smith said...

I think a review should ideally work like this - be helpful to the reader, and helpful to the writer. I'm glad you found the feedback useful :)