So, after Ogg's impassioned plea in favour of Mills and Boon (the American equivalent is called Harlequin), are you going to see me switch to bumping their hefty sales by recommending Fifty Shades of Fluffy on this blog?
Ummmm NO! LOL. Because Mills and Boon/Harlequin are a) not feminist and b) not erotica.
|Recipe for rose-petal |
I have acksherly read some M&Bs, a long time ago. Even as a li'l kitten I would turn my li'l kitten nose up at the piles of 3 for £1 paperbacks in charity shops. As I was a budding social scientist, I sort of felt I ought not to do so without empirical evidence that they were rubbish so I duly paid my £1 (Cancer Research, darlings, a Good Cause) and worked my way through three of the things.
Gah! they were pants. I describe one in my Feminist Erotica - WTF is that? page, in which the heroine beats on a man's chest with her fists and after a bit he says (in a deep manly voice, I expect): "Are you going to stop that, or do I have to stop you?"
|Good chest-beating outfit |
depicted on Etsy.
I think in another one, a young woman who ought to have been considering what university degree she might study was obliged to marry a man in order to save her dad's business. OK, I may have been prejudiced here in that I had to work like a dog to try to save my own dad from bankruptcy. It would've been nice if I could've just married some hot blade instead of being felt up by an already married elderly geezer with grandchildren - which I had to put up with as he had lent the business money. Probably marrying some guy to save your dad's business is romantic and lovely reely :rolleyes:.
I read some Barbara C's as well. They were even more dreadful! cuz they were often pale copies of other proper red-blooded novels like The Sheik. (More on that one soon.)
|C.E. Brock illustration to |
Pride and Prejudice
|Available for only £4.25 |
Jack T. Colton (T. for Trustworthy, LOL), is just as fantasy a romantic hero as in an M&B, but at least he is erotic, he expects a lady to like sex with him. My favourite moment of the film is when he tries to rush to rescue Joan Wilder. He grabs a gun - no bullets! He climbs a stone wall, slips back down. By the time he gets to her, she's saved herself. As he goes to dive off the walls of the ruined fort again, the romance writer cries: "You're leaving? You're leaving me?!" He gives her a passionate kiss and smiles, saying: "You're going to be alright Joan Wilder... You always were."
|You can get the box set|
|From fatchicksings blog.|
I am going to be alright, without any M&B manly man's chest to beat on. Pop Jewel of the Nile on, open a good Montepulciano and let's enjoy an ea-asy night in, LOL.
As that greatest of romance writers Jane Austen puts it in her delightful juvenile spoof Love and Freindship: "Beware of swoons, Dear Laura."